Hmmm what an interesting week it has been. Interesting in a good or bad, i dont know.

Firstly, i chopped my hair!!!!! =D unfortunately i couldn't get it even shorter at the back like the Beckham style bcos i wanted to grow my hair long after that chop so that its at medium length for my cuz's wedding!! Every1 reckons i look like a 5 to 6 yr old kid!!! omgggg o well @ least i dont look like an old hag. But!!! i have ppl "playing" with my hair. Ok[not wanting to mention names . . coff Vino coff . . . ] i know its short and it MIGHT seem playful but i am not a stuffed toy with playful hair =.="

Nyways moving right along!!! During Friday's lunch i went on a binge. I decided to go down to woolies at 1 ish to buy some snacks for work. As i walked through QVB, i fet like boost but then i decided not to because i had it the day before. Okay so i walk past this shoe store and saw these pair of shoes i wanted. I walked in and i found out it was 80 bucks so im like ahh nah i'll wait for it to go on sale. And then I saw some1 walk past with easy way and automatically im like ok lets go easy way. So i went to get easy way.

On my way back i felt like chips so im like ok and walked into woolies to get a large bag of toobs. Later i walked past New Zealand Natural. What do i do? without even thinking i just walked straight up to the ice cream place and ordered 2 scoops. Not once did i feel guilty about buying all that crap. It just satisfied me. I dont know what was on my mind that time, i just concentrated on eating my icecream, chips and easy way! *drools*

That then leads me to another topic. A topic which relates to a long entry i have written not so long ago. [Btw, im NOT tryiing to make a big deal out of this but its just things which i need to get off my chest] I guess what makes me most upset is that i have lost you mainly as a really good friend. Throughout this week as i have aforementioned i have done a lot of thinking. If anyone had asked me last weekend if i could turn back time, where i would turn it back to? Well i would of said back to the time when we were both just good friends and nothing more. I say that not because i now know that i had to take a step back but because when i speak to you, you sound worse than a rock. I would type like 5 lines and you would you just give me a 3 word response or whateva. I tried to make the conversation sound exciting and fun but once again you just gave me your rock like response. =.="

ok so thats that. Later in the week, i did some more thinking. I decided to change my answer if i was asked that question. If i was to turn back time i would turn it back to the point where i realize that our conversations were so poor. From that point onwards i would then try something else to try and change what has happened. I say that because i missed being able to talk to you whenever and where-ever and esp when i had some crazy story or simply because when i justed wanted to talk to you. Talking to you just made me feel happy. With that thought in my mind, that made me sad that i did have to take one step back.

ok. So as the week ticked by i, again, changed my mind. I changed my answer back to my original answer. I thought oh great . . . this is probably going to be one of those thoughts where i will never be able to make up my mind! However even at this moment where i am sitting in my room and typing up this blog, my answer still has no changed. It had not changed ever since tuesday. The only thing that has changed is that i have became more certain that that is how i want my answer to be. I know its not a seroius quesiton or anything, in fact its probably a stupid quesiton. But it just helps me look @ things from various perspectives.

At various times throughout the week i did feel sad because to me it seems like i've lost a friend. (well that is what it seems like now) If you dont want to talk to me because you want some space/distance or because you just dont feel right or wateva! thats fine. I would understand that but if you do want to talk to me on your own will, dont sound like a rock. The vibe that i get is that i feel that you seem that you are talking to me because you seem obliged to.

You dont have to talk to me if you dont want to. Its okay. I say this because if you did want to talk me on your own will and interest its because you wouldn't be sounding like a rock [even if you were busy] You would [ i assume] talk to me somehow like how we did before all of this happened. Talking to me and actually enjoy it like any other friend would. Talking to me and seeing me as a friend, rather than seeing me as a burden. (whether you do or dont, i dont know so im not exactly claiming that you do)

Im not saying this because i want you to automatically change and pretend to talk to me as if you are saying it on your will. im not saying this because i want you to do what i request. Instead, I am saying this because that is how i feel and maybe you may or may not have realized how you are like when you do communicate with me.

Yes i do wish you could talk to me like before but if you dont, as i have said before, its okay. Whether you read this or not, whether you absorb in what i say or not, i wont hate you or have a grudge against you or think of you different or anything like that. I wont say that i dont care if u do change the way you talk to me or not or wateva because that isn't true. I dont know what else to say about this ?_? Well i do but i just dont know how to word it. {am i making sense here *raises eye brow*}

also, ok~~ i confess. I took on a few ppl's advice and that was to cut all communications with you. I didn't block you but i just appeared offline for a few days. So that might explain why i havn't been online lately. Hopefully that might of given you some space for things to "cool" down. I hope it did work =) If it doesn't, o well . . . i dont know what to do besides to just let it be. I am sure i will find out soon though and with whateva happens, kekekeke im sure "there is a reason for everything" kekekeke! =D